I don’t know if I am coming or going.

So I have been so exhausted, I think I have literally had like 7 hours of sleep in the last two days. I just keep telling myself to pull through. I was so post to be work today then I was so post to be off then they decided to have me work at 8:30am 4pm which was after them telling me I was going to only work for a couple of hours. I think what makes me mad the most is that I just like to know my schedule ahead of time and for it to stay that way. So I went in at around 8 and got my first small check and deposited it into our account. Then went back sat in the car for a few minutes trying to collect my thoughts. Sitting there pondering how long I can do this with out having an emotional break down. I thought I would be able to handle it fine but it just doesn’t seem to be the case at all. Maybe I’m just tired after along week. I worked last Tuesday, Wed, Thursday, and Saturday was off sunday and worked this whole week long except I had Friday off and we were at the hospital which I would rather be there any day over this place to be honest. It just seems like I do so much physical labor at this place alot more than I get paid for. Although I understand you cant start on the top and you have to work your way up, its just hard when I have made more than that in the past. Like I said in the past My life didn’t start out going the way I planned but it has gotten a whole lot better. I have a awesome family. Travis my love, Lexi Jordan Lucian I love you guys with all my heart and everything I am. With out them I would be so lost and I wouldn’t know what to do. I just want to get all of our bills on track and then get back into school and get done what I nee to get done to get to be where I truly wanna be and that is where my heart is and that is with little babies. I can honestly say I never new what I wanted to do with my life up until I had my son and he spent 6 straight months in the hospital. But I am glad that we took our time with everything alot of people want to rush things and you just can’t do that. Not in a situation like Lucian’s time is your best friend. So anyways I got to work and I was there forever, and I was so post to be training on the cash register, and I ended up stocking the cooler and doing everything I normally do for the most part, and being dead tired at that. I kept waiting and waiting trying to stay awake, and she was having problems making me a cash drawer, so she called the g m and ask him if i could just go home early and I was so glad he said yes because I have worked everyday except for Friday this week.I think it is just hard because my shedding keeps getting switched from nights to days. I guess I should just be thankful I have something to get us by until I can put some money aside to finish my schooling so that I can take the college classes I need to take to move on an advance to take care of my family.