Kayla’s Ramble Post.

I have come to realize and accept alot of things that took me along time to realize. I will not get a break from anything for the rest of my life. I have four kids are you kidding me. Break there is no break insight. I will be worrying about my kids for the rest of my life. I love them so much I could not imagine nt worrying about them. Right now I am just trying ot figure out how to get a solid hour of one single persons time. I start something and have to come to a halt. I tell myself it will be ok. It will be there when I get back. Lexi si sick she got sent home from school again today whne she woke up this morning she did not have a fever. She acts fine like nothing is wrong. i hope she gets over this fast so much for it being 24 hour. I hope I cna keep the other kids well.

At times I feel like I can never do enough, enough for anybody or that it is not good enough. I mean what person doesn’t want to know that what they do is appreciated? I think deep down everyone really does. I havent been in a very good mood lately as if you couldn’t tell I just don feel like dealing with any crap. Especially stupidity or lies.

Less than one week and I get to find out what my new year is going to hold for me. Hopefully I get that miracle I was talking about. I need it and then if I get it I can’t expect another one for the rest of my life because I have already had a few.

Sometimes do you ever feel like you are talking and no one is listening. Sometimes I feel like that as well. It’s like you say things and you think the person is listening but in all reality they have no clue what you just said. Screw it it must not have been that important huh?

I am actually looking forward to going back to work and making alot of money so I can have what I want. It will help get me into shape better anyways. I have a goal weight and I am determined to reach it. I have done it once I can do it again. I am almost there. You just really have to think before you drink anything or shove food in your mouth, like it is 2:02pm and I haven’t had a thing to eat all day long today and honestly probably wont eat until diner. I drink alot and I MEAN ALOT of coffee. I Love coffee. I know I know I get the lecture often enough ti is not good for you. Nothing really is. What are you to expect out of love? That is another question i had going through my head. I haven’t come up with he answer for that one yet. I am getting old I have come to realize that as well. I am 25. Ya ya ya I know there are tons of people out there that are older than me I have heard that before as well. That has nothing to do with it at all what so ever. I am just saying 25 years of my life have gone by before my eyes, I can remember when I was so young and was dreaming of being just 18 and now I am 25 are you kidding me? In 25 more years I will be 50 and those 25 years are going tot fly by so fast i cant tell if i ma coming or going and I dont think I am ready for that I don’t thank anyone is. The question is what do you consider a full life?I guess everyone probably has a different opinion.

I am going to stop rambling on now. I have a few things I have to take care of.